Staring at these beautiful children of mine; I would of never thought they would need so much help. Nor would I think I would be faced with the same feelings over and over again. To sum it up I was hopeless; yet optimistic. Such a crazy way to feel. But it comes with raising children with autism. So accepting one diagnosis after another; felt too surreal. But it was definitely happening. Yet with each diagnosis I somehow tried not “feel a way” since I “already been there”. ‘I couldn’t do that as I saw each of my children as individuals with different cases of autism. I got to see no person with autism is the same.It changed my outlook on motherhood, on life itself.